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Hospice helps one live fully and die peacefully!
Are you scared? How can I help you? What to say to a loved one who is dying....
Patients often cannot accept that they are dying Loved ones may have an even harder time with accepting imminent death. Hospice is there to assist the process of death once a person decides not to continue any more life saving treatments
The sole purpose of hospice programs is to help people live fully and die at peace. Hospices are wonderfully trained to do that. They do not fight death - but make the most of the days left. They keep the patient as comfortable and able of possible. They provide assistance so that the patient can find peace in relationships and their life.
Families and privately hired help provide most of the hands-on care, but hospice staff augments with medical, spiritual, psychological, and practical support to both the patient and the family.
Some people accuse hospice of "giving up" or existing to let the person "wait to die." That is not true. Superb medical treatment is available through doctors, nurses, and other professionals. The one big difference is that the aim of the treatment is COMFORT. Everyone focuses on living life and not on fighting death.
Originally the hospice movement started with just small medical facilities where patients lived before death. Though there still are facilities - especially appropriate when no one within the home can care for the patient anymore - in the US and internationally it is more about the philosophy.
Hospice care - per Medicare and other insurance plans - requires that a doctor declares that a patient has less than six months to live. That is a prediction that many doctors won't make. It is easier with some forms of cancer but harder for less predictable illnesses like heart disease or dementia.
Other doctors may be hesitant to recommend hospice care out of fear of upsetting the patient and or the family. The doctor him or herself may still hope that they can turn things around even though they understand the prognosis.
Hospice care requires family, friends, and/or paid help to care for the patient in the home. That is not always possible. Keeping a loved one at home to die, requires a major commitment and inner fortitude.
The biggest stepping stone appears to be that people are just not ready -prepared emotionally or mentally - to choose not more medical intervention. Hospice is an all or nothing choice. Hospice requires that patients stop all life-sustaining medical treatment. the only treatment would be for the purpose of keeping the patient more comfortable. It cannot be for the purpose of fighting the underlying disease.
When you assess your own hesitancy, many patients, loved ones, and even doctors don't want to believe that the patient will die. They don't want to let go. They don't want to accept death.
"We don't want to just sit and wait and then die.. We are investigating more alternative treatments. " is often what is said. However, everyone when asked independently knew that that choice was just prolonging agony.
Whatever the age - whatever the circumstance that led to it being the "end of life" don't wait to seek out hospice and talk. Discuss the patient's situation and understand the possible services. You will want to be sure you understand options when or if the patient is ready for comfort only. And as I have shared before, waiting until you have an emergency on your hands is not a good time to make a decision or start to search. It is always best to have planned in advance so that you can maintain a calm, educated head when and if the situation arises.
Just for the record, hospice is not a service that cannot be stopped. If you as the loved one or the patient agrees to receive hospice services and then the situation changes, you can stop receiving their services. Personally I experienced a parent on and off hospice (because of eligibility) services over six years! Factoid - Hospice services began officially in the UK in 1967.
also
We have countless jokes online and in person about nonstop phone calls at all hours begging you to extend your car warranty - even when you don't own a car! But we don't talk about death. AND we all have death in common!
Upon death, even if your legal paperwork is completed will there be problems? Tell others about your wishes. Make changes as often as you want but be sure your loved ones know. Problems arise when loved ones disagree. Money can do that to wills.
You don't have to discuss death daily. Yet you need to face that we all will die. Give yourself a rest sometimes but remember that each day is precious.