You may be feeling pretty proud of yourself - you and the person you care the most about in the world have completed legal paperwork that puts you in a position of speaking for him or her if he or she can't speak for themselves. You have a completed advance directive (also known as a living will). It feels good to have the legal requirements in place as required by your state of residence.
However I hate to break it to you but that alone most probably won't be enough. How do you define "I don't want anything extraordinary to keep me alive"? At the moment you are asked - if you are lucky enough to be right there and have a doctor talking to you before making decisions - "do you want us to try using XXX?" what is your answer? When you and your loved one talked did you "guess" possible scenes or just assume that it would be something like "no tubes" or "no ventilator" but what about trying it for a few hours?
It is a fine line. Some people have stories of having XXX put in only to find out that it couldn't be removed....so the loved one is strapped to the bed, unable to move, wincing in pain, looking at your as if to say "what did you do"....and you can't do a thing....and the last ten days of life for the person are long, painful, lonely, etc....and you know that you could have been holding her or his hand or stroking their tired body.
More than everything else the patient and family must be informed and decisions respected. Again easier said than done - one famiy member wants to be a hero and tries to change the plan - and often the medical team listens to the loudest person!
Read next week's blog to learn more about the other four things that should be considered - and hence discussed when you can!
Who said dying was easy?
