The car careened off the road and ended up on the sidewalk – exactly where my friend Julie was standing. It took ten long days for her to finally be pronounced dead.
Did she want to have every possible life saving measure tried on her? Or did the medical world feel that their job was to try anything just in case? Worse yet, who was making money from the medical test after medical test, experiment after experiment?
How do you want to be treated when you are dying? It is profound to think about. But 10-20% of Americans die with virtually no notice. In other words, the heart attack takes them down. A bicyclist is killed while cycling home from work. A random bullet strays into someone’s car.
We live each day the best we can. We make the most of the gift we are given every day. But have you told someone what you want done and not done if you are dying and unable to speak for yourself or make a clear decision? Have you completed a medical directive? There is another blog on this but I am also sharing this link which allows you access to state by state advance directive. Please don’t be turned away because it links from the AARP website. They are well funded and do a thorough job. Scroll until you find the state that you need the paperwork from.
https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/free-printable-advance-directives/
How much pain and suffering are you willing to endure if it means a chance that you will live? What is your definition of “live”? If you are legally alive but cannot complete any function? If you can independently complete some functions? Which ones? Under what conditions? Will you create a caveat that says "if I am under age X?”
Some people want all the time they can get on earth regardless of the quality. Some people make a choice but realize that their spouse or partner will choose something else for them. I heard a loving husband say “if it gives her more comfort to keep me alive even if I require nonstop care, how can I take that away from her?” I also know a spouse who said “please don’t suffer by watching me suffer. Let me go. Get on with your own life. If I can’t live my passion I don’t want to be legally alive.”
This choice may change over time. As you have read me say previously, I recommend that you pick a date every ten years or so and revisit the decisions, paperwork, letters, and more you have completed. Times change. Your philosophy changes. People in your life change. Since you have taken the time to complete things once, doing a redo is easy!
Mark your calendar on birthday #30 or on birthday number 100 to pull out the paperwork, gather nearest friends and family, whatever it takes to get your wishes updated and known. You will feel better for it. The people you leave behind will thank you and celebrate you for doing so!
