Let's Talk About Death
Debbie Pepin
Death - The To Do List
All of Us Are Going to Die.
Why Won't We Talk About It?
Why Won't We Talk About It?
Beyond a Cursory Review of Legal Paperwork
This booklet assists financial planners and lawyers in hosting ongoing discussions about death that go way beyond the legal paperwork.
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Let's talk about death - Humans don’t come with an expiration date
Let's talk about death...If death were to be considered just a part of the life process (since we don’t come with an expiration date), then healthy planning discussions would become lifelong. Why is the subject of death considered morbid or taboo? How can you truly live a full, passionate life if you don’t recognize that death is a part of it? It we speak of death throughout life, aging would be easier for everyone. Each of us can help those who remain on earth after our death by having clearly shared our thoughts about how we want to die - how much suffering we want to endure; what medical measures we do and don't want taken; what bodily functions we want to retain; and many more big questions requiring decisions. Do you know when you will die?
A commonality – everyone will die
When interviewed privately, the majority of people say that they want to discuss their plans, goals and wishes but “the conversation” rarely happens before it is virtually too late. Planning for a purposeful life leads to a longer happier life. Adjustments in life’s plan should be gradual instead of when some externally motivated force (example – you need a will or you must retitle your IRA) says “time to plan”. No wonder ageism is alive and well. Our youth obsessed “anti-aging” culture acts as if age is something to avoid – good luck with that!
“If we could awaken society to discuss aging as an everyday occurrence, then the grand finale of life would be well thought out."
After three parents whom I had responsibilities for died in 2017 I used writing as a catharsis. My research led me to realize that as a society we do not talk about death – and certainly not in the context of being part of our life cycle. None of my parents were willing to discuss their plans, passions, or wishes and yet it seemed that I was to look inside to their inner soul and figure out the best thing to do for them. My research led me to conclude that if we awakened society to discuss aging as an everyday occurrence, that the grand finale of life would be well thought out and anticipated.
Talking about death is a natural part of life
I drafted a self-help memoir written with love and humor that gives anecdotes, facts and current resources. The book and research is applicable to everyone – at all stages of life. Every day we are living we are one day closer to the end since none of us knows when that will be. Only about 70% of the US lives beyond age 65. Approaching the topic of death the same way we address other milestones (school, career, partners, major purchases, and more) would assist the growing discrimination of ageism. It would also help each of us realize the importance of growing our passions and adapting them to support a lifetime of purposeful living.
The working book title is IN CASE YOU DIE*.....How to acknowledge your mortality, plan accordingly, and instantly improve your life...
The working book title is IN CASE YOU DIE*.....How to acknowledge your mortality, plan accordingly, and instantly improve your life...
*YOU WILL - EVERYONE DOES
We have one thing in common - we all will die!
We have countless jokes online and in person about nonstop phone calls at all hours begging you to extend your car warranty - even when you don't own a car! But we don't talk about death. AND we all have death in common!
Upon death, even if your legal paperwork is completed will there be problems? Tell others about your wishes. Make changes as often as you want but be sure your loved ones know. Problems arise when loved ones disagree. Money can do that to wills.
You don't have to discuss death daily. Yet you need to face that we all will die. Give yourself a rest sometimes but remember that each day is precious.